The Revenant

The definition of a 'Revenant' is a person who returns. So now I’ve spoilt the plot for you.

'The Revenant' is a western style ‘epic’ inspired by the exploits of frontiersman Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) engaged in fur-trapping in the wilderness of the northern Louisiana Purchase in 1823. It is directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu brought us 'Birdman', enough said.

Glass's party are repeatedly attacked by the local natives who decimate their numbers. Having to abandon their boat, they end up journeying back to their camp at Fort Kiowa on foot.

While out scouting, Glass is attacked by a grizzly bear after disturbing her cubs or perhaps she thought he was after her fur. The attack is brutal and leaves him seemingly mortally wounded. Taking into account his injuries and the fact that this is the middle of winter and the temperature is well into the negatives, his crew assume he’ll be dead within hours. However Glass is so highly respected that his boss Captain Henry (Domhnall Gleeson) pays for the mumbling mercenary John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) to stay with him until he dies to give him a proper burial. Along with him are Glass’s half-Pawnee son Hawk(Forrest Goodluck) and his friend Bridger (Will Poulter).

Fitzgerald is not happy when Glass does not die quickly and tries to hasten the process but Hawk catches him. In the ensuing fight he kills Hawk as Glass watches on. In the end Fitzgerald abandons Glass in a shallow grave, still alive and now determined to avenge the death of his son. At which point Glass crawls out of his grave and heads for home...

In real life Glass really did survive being mauled by the bear but I think his story has perhaps been passed down and repeatedly re-embroidered over far too many glasses of wine over the years. From here on in his journey to exact revenge becomes more absurd with each scene. 

Glass takes a trip down the river and is swept over the rapids. This would have drowned most man, let alone someone who has just been savaged by a bear. Not Glass though, as for the hypothermia that would surely have followed this dunking. Nope, not Glass.

He is then attacked by another bunch of natives and gets shot before he and his horse plunge over a cliff to what is surely certain death this time? Nope. Well the horse didn’t survive it, which is fortunate for Glass who has the strength to gut the dead animal and sleep inside it. Ewwww.

Eventually our Revenant hero returns to camp and Fitzgerald, who has already made it back, legs it with the contents of the camp safe. Incomprehensively just two guys go after him but this ably sets up the revenge finale.

I suppose the Revenant is not supposed to be a film in the normal sense, it is an ‘experience’ and an impressively bleak one at that. It is also an extreme case of style over substance. It has a great cast, stunning locations, amazing cinematography and the ‘how the hell did they film that’ factor but also practically zero character development together with a ridiculous plot.

In theory all of the good points above should have been able to deliver a great film which could all have been done and dusted in a lot less than two and a half hours but I think this is minimum running time for an Oscar nominee.

If DiCaprio gets an award for his two and a half hours of crawling and grimacing then it will probably be because they feel they owe him one. We already know he’s excellent at crawling and grimacing from The Wolf of Wall Street. Also if he wants the gong that much to put himself through all this, then for God's sake just give the man his Oscar and let's all move on. I’m assuming he didn’t use a stunt double because if he did he’d hardly have ever been on set and that man should get the award instead.

Recommended, if you like that sort of thing.

Room

Based on a novel by Emma Donoghue, who also wrote the screenplay, Lenny Abrahamson's ‘Room’ is actually a garden shed. There are no windows and the only door has an electronic code on it. This is home to Joy (Brie Larson) and has been home for the ast seven years after the man we know only as Old Nick (Sean Bridgers) abducted her when she was just seventeen.  

There is little back story here so we assume her abductor is just keeping her for sex which he visits her for whenever the fancy takes him. The film isn’t based on any specific incident but clearly there are similarities with several real life abductions. For the last five years ‘Room’ has also been home to Jack (Jacob Tremblay), Joy’s son, a product of her situation and possibly the only thing that keeps her sane.

Their captor holds total power over their lives, if they cross him then they’ll be no electricity, heat or food provided. When he visits Jack has to hide in the wardrobe as Joy repays him for his generosity.

The two of them live by a routine, endless days of cooking, reading, attempting to exercise and watching TV where Jack believes everything he sees is pure fantasy. It's tempting to say he's not far wrong there. Joy has kept Jack from realizing the horror of their situation but as she becomes more desperate to escape and hatches a rescue plan, she has to re-educate him to prepare him for the fact that there’s actually a whole world outside the door.

Joy fakes Jack's death and persuades Nick to bury the alleged corpse. Jack escapes, discovers the outside world, alerts the police and gets them rescued, all at the age of five. This bit is the most improbable of many improbables contained within the script.

Outside things have moved on and a seven year chunk of Joy’s life is missing. Joy's parents have divorced, her school friends have moved on and her promising athletics career is history. While her father (William H. Macy) harshly judges her, her mother (Joan Allen) is supportive but they soon slip into typical Mother-Daughter quarrels and the media almost destroy her.

The concept of the film is a good one but the script is sadly lacking particularly in regards to their highly questionable escape plan and subsequent rescue. The film also focuses more on their adjustment to life outside of their room rather than the imprisonment itself which is perhaps a shame. However 'Room' is saved by some strong performances from Larson and particularly from Tremblay, who is absolutely brilliant especially for someone so young.

The Danish Girl

Set in Copenhagen in the mid-1920s, The Danish Girl is based on the true story of the first person to undergo gender reassignment surgery.

Einar and Gerda Wegener are a seemingly normal couple who are both painters but while Einar (Eddie Redmayne) is a renowned landscape artist, Gerda (Alicia Vikander) is struggling to make an impact with her portraits. On the surface they appear happily married and are trying for a baby. Something which shouldn’t pose too much of a problem as they seem to be jumping each other at every opportunity.

When one day Gerda is struggling to hit a deadline and needs a female model but one isn’t available, she asks Einar to put a dress on and stand in. When he does, they both seem to like it. From that point onwards Gerda encourages him to dress up in her clothes and wear her makeup. She seems to see it as a sort of a kinky dressing up game and indeed, at first, most of the time it ends up with them in bed. When she catches him secretly wearing her lingerie under his clothes, she likes that too and again they end up having sex.

They start going out in public with him dressed up as a woman, now known as ‘Lili’ and no one suspects that it is really Einar. I don’t know how well the real Lili passed for a woman but Redmayne's Lili was far from convincing, undeniably a man in a wig and the only person he/she gets a reaction from is a gay man (Ben Whishaw) who he inadvertently pulls. Which doesn’t go down too well with his wife.

Gradually it becomes clear that Einar isn’t so much keen to get his wife out of her underwear but to get into it himself as he becomes more and more obsessed about what it would be like to be a woman. I find it hard to believe this is how you discover that you are transgender as I thought it was something you grappled with almost from childhood but what do I know. Perhaps he did but the film doesn’t tell us. 

They seek help for Einar but the doctors either prescribe shock treatment or want to lock him up. Eventually they find a more open minded doctor who suggests that Einar become part of his experiments into gender reassignment. This leads Einar to submit to a succession of untried medical procedures which will eventually kill him.

This may have started out as a film about a transgender man but where the film actually excels is in its telling of the story of a woman who is married to someone who isn’t who she thought they were.

Saint Gerda takes everything that is thrown at her in her stride and that is some achievement. Gerda is not the successful artist in the family and it is only when she starts painting portraits of ‘Lili’ that she finally starts to get noticed as an artist. This perhaps goes some way to making up for gradually losing her husband.

When Einar decides he wants to become Lili she just goes with it even though her own needs are often compromised along the way. At times it’s painful to watch as he thoughtlessly withdraws himself from her until eventually he leaves her totally alone. Yet Gerda’s devotion to her marriage and to her husband is unflinching even when Einar’s childhood friend, Hans (Matthias Schoenaerts), expresses a clear interest in the sexually frustrated wife. Come the sad ending, she is still there by his bedside.

This is Gerda’s film or more precisely its Alicia Vikander film. While Eddie Redmayne seemed somewhat overwhelmed by his role, which seemed to consume him and then spit him out the other side, Alicia Vikander totally owned her role. I suppose it didn’t help that I kept looking at Redmayne and seeing Stephen Hawking in drag, which isn’t a great vision, but there’s no getting away from the fact that Vikander is fantastic here.

Of course in real life Gerda was herself bisexual and painted lesbian erotica but this wasn’t mentioned in the film. Not sure what the Academy Awards committee would have made of that.

Joy

You would perhaps think that making a film about the woman who invented the Miracle Mop wouldn’t be a very good idea? Well, you’d be right. However we didn’t know this before we saw the film ‘Joy’ with its stellar cast, well respected director and hints of award nominations in the offing. So perhaps they’d somehow woven a silk purse out of a sow’s ear (or whatever the saying is)? Nope.

The film is based on the life of Joy Mangano, she of the mop. It reunites the director and half the cast of the decent ‘Silver Linings Playbook’. It also seems to reassemble almost the same dysfunctional family. Actually this one takes dysfunctional up several notches. In this Joy (Jennifer Lawrence) has to deal with a houseful of kids only some of which are children.

Always an inventor at heart Joy creates her mop and tries to sell it on QVC. It’s initially a disaster when the salesman messes up his sales pitch but the mop gets the blame. Then QVC head honcho Neil Walker (Bradley Cooper) reluctantly allows Joy to promote the mop herself. Cue instant success.

Unfortunately Joy is being shafted by her parts supplier and every sale of the mop is losing her money. Her unsympathetic dysfunctional (but seemingly rich) family want the money they have lent her back and financial ruin is just around the corner.

If the focus has been more on the financial shenanigans behind this story then we might have been onto a more interesting film because after an irritating ninety minutes that lead us to her bankruptcy, Joy tracks down the gangster who is head of the parts company. In a brief two minute meeting with a man we've never seen on screen before she hits him with a load of information that we haven’t been party to and that we haven’t seen her collect but it is such powerful stuff that it makes this man back down and give her all her money back. That should have been the film. Unfortunately by then we no longer cared as we all just wanted to get our coats and go home.

What we are left with is a film where both the plot and script are very weak. If Lawrence is going to continue to complain that top female actresses don’t get paid as much as top male actors then her first move should be to get herself a new agent. Plus if she wants to be a feminist and make a film about female empowerment, this isn’t it. 

It turns out this was barely Mangano’s story anyway. The real the Joy Mangano went to university and had a degree in business administration. I hope they’ve apologised to her.