Mary Magdalene

‘Mary Magdalene’ is yet another retelling of the Jesus Christ story but this time using a new interpretation of the New Testament which does a demolition job on the wildly held assumption that Mary Magdalene was a mere prostitute. As an RE lesson, pretty much all the usual story is present and roughly correct. You know, the raising of Lazarus, Palm Sunday, the Last Supper, Judas’s betrayal and the Crucifixion. This time though Mary Magdalene seems to be Jesus’s right hand man, I mean woman, rather than Peter.

Mary M (Rooney Mara) rejects the expected norms of an arranged marriage and a future of prodigious childbearing for the want of something better to do with her life. Good girl. Her family are rather appalled at this ground breaking madness and promptly attempt to exorcise the demon within her. However it’s not a demon that has taken her but the unkempt bunch of blokes who turned up unannounced in her village. This ragamuffin group turn out to the disciples lead by a rather scruffy chap called Jesus (Joachim Phoenix). A man who seems to be keeping his alleged charisma well hidden. Nonetheless she elopes with this dozen or so blokes which perhaps understandably doesn’t go down that well with her father and brothers. They attempts to take her back but the disciples refuse to let her go. Which I didn’t think was very Christian of them.

So this retelling puts Mary M front and centre and seems to suggest that she knew what Jesus was on about better than the lads did. She becomes somewhat a teacher’s pet and starts following Jesus around like a lost sheep. Which, to be fair, is pretty much what everybody else does. The cameraman included which is why the film often drags so much. There are only so many lingering stares between the two of them you can take. Apparently Phoenix and Mara are an actual couple in real life, I just hope they have more chemistry at home and perhaps speak a bit louder to each other because at times here the dialogue is scarcely audible.

There are a few other, possibly contentious and confusing, plot changes. Judas (Tahar Rahim) doesn’t seem to betray Jesus but sort of just makes a mistake and no money changes hands. While Peter (Chiwetel Ejiofor) forgets to disown Jesus, not once let alone three times. 

It’s all a bit of a mess really but lets face it, no one really knows what went on out there in the desert in 33AD, but if it really was as dull as this then I doubt this bible thing would have gained as much traction as it has.

Twelve Years A Slave

It’s 1841 and Solomon Northop (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is a free black man living with his family in Saratoga, New York. He is portrayed as the model of upmarket respectability, so it’s quite baffling that he suddenly accepts an offer to do a short our as fiddler with two white men he’s just met, without even seeming to tell his wife where he's going.

This takes him to Washington, where one night whilst socialising with his new colleagues, he is suddenly taken ill and wakes up in chains.

He has been sold to slave traders, renamed as Platt and is on his way to Louisiana where he will spend the next twelve years working for different owners. All of this happens pretty much within the first fifteen minutes which is a shame. The director seems over keen to get us to the beatings and whippings that are to come, of which there are many.

Once in Louisiana you only need to know one thing. That all black slaves are good folk and all the white owners are evil people, end of story. This goes for the woman as well, Edwin Epps (Michael Fassbender) is a nasty chap but his missus (Sarah Paulson) is arguably worse.

Solomon’s first owner Ford (Benedict Cumberbatch) does show compassion for a while but even this doesn’t last. 

Of course there has to be one token good white guy and Brad Pitt (naturally) saves the day by getting word back to Solomon's family and subsequently in 1853, Solomon is rescued. The mechanics of this are also glossed over.

The long bit in the middle, the slavery bit, goes on forever and is nothing we haven’t seen before. We all know that slavery was a horrible dark chapter in American history but all this has been done to death before. The uniqueness of Solomon's situation, his kidnapping and later release are mostly absent here.

At least he got out and got to write a book about his ‘experience’, most of the rest of the slaves were in it for keeps. Perhaps this is why I don’t feel anything much for him throughout the film.

I was hoping for more from the film.