Catching Fire

After their contentious dead heat in the 74^th Hunger Games, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) embark on an equally contentious victory tour. This is welcomed like a dose of the plague by the masses in the oppressed districts. That’s not to say The Capitol, their oppressive government, won’t be sending the plague round next week on a tour of its own because that’s the sort of thing they do.

Katniss and Peeta are still pretending to be in love, for the cameras and in the interest of good PR. Things are actually a bit frosty between them and sometimes they even have to pretend that they like each other at all. Peeta’s well into her of course but she’s supposed to be a teenage girl, so he should know he’s not going to get a straight answer.

If Peeta thinks Katniss has become a bit of a problem for him, then that’s nothing compared to the problem she’s causing the government. Her victory at the last Games has turned her into a beacon of hope for the districts and many are showing signs of revolt.

Of course when anyone shows any sort of rebellious streak, no matter how small, they are usually beaten to death by the men in white armour but the film quickly cuts away from these barbaric attacks. This is a family rated 12A you know. 

Amongst the beatings and floggings, the authorities save a big one for the other corner of our little love triangle of indifference, namely Gale (Liam Hemsworth).

I wonder if Katniss would have been more up for a tumble with him if he hadn't been called Gale? Would Peeta have had more luck himself if he’s simply call himself Pete? So many questions. Although what we really want to see is the two of them slugging it out to the death over the girl. What we get instead is the next instalment of the Hunger Games.

As you will know by now the Hunger Games are basically It’s a Knockout done North Korean style. The next edition, the 75^th, promises to be a big one because it’s also something called a Quarter-quell where they can be more evil than usual. This time they choose to force past victors back into the arena, going back on their promise to the winners that they would be exempt for life.

As the only ever female victor from District 12 Katniss gets a bye through the selection process, the lucky girl. Peeta has to fight it out via a drawing of lots with good old Haymitch (Woody Harrelson). Haymitch wins but Peeta pushes him aside, volunteering in his place and so Haymitch again acts as their mentor. Effie is there again too attempting to build team spirit.

As we meet the other contenders, all past victors, JL gets out sex appealed by a naked, from the back, Johanna Mason (Jena Malone). That’s what an Oscar win does for you, makes you a bit too conservative.

The games start and the Capitol cross their fingers, hoping for anything but a Katniss victory, they’d even take Petta back as long as someone gets rid of that annoying girl.

The players are sent to stand on pedestals in the middle of a lake which itself is surrounded by jungle. What awaits them are tribute eating baboons, tidal waves, poison fog, lightning, and firstly, most terrifying of all... swimming. I’m being serious here, that would have been my worst nightmare, having to dive in and all.

Quickly it becomes apparent that there’s a flaw in the Capitals plan as regards getting rid of our bow and arrow toting Filly because a large chunk of the tributes have been told to work as domestiques, to cull a cycling term, on her behalf. Only no one tells her and I shouldn’t really have told you because it’ll probably spoil the film for you.

So there’s less slaughtering each other than usual and what deaths there are usually happen off screen, come on as I said it’s a 12A, but you do get them having nice friendly coffee mornings whilst working out how to dodge the next tidal wave etc.

Peeta temporarily dies after not looking where he was going and walking into an invisible force field but he is revived by rival tribute Finnick. Which pisses Katniss off no end, saving Peeta was her job.

The elderly Mags gallantly sacrifices herself in the toxic fog but we haven’t been told terribly much about her or any of this new batch of tributes, so we aren't troubled too much. We do care slightly more about what happens to Johanna obviously because we have at least seen her bare bottom.

It’s all good 12A slaughtering fun and I enjoyed it but it’s also all a bit of a recycling job, as the plot isn’t very far removed from the first one. So if you liked that, you'll like this. Although unlike the first one it doesn’t really have an ending, it just stops. I wonder if there’s another sequel coming...

The Kids Are All Right

'The Kids Are All Right' is written, directed and I think most other things by Lisa Cholodenko. Who apparently writes from personal experience, so it’s kind of semi-biographical.

Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) are an 'old' married couple but, and the clue is in their abbreviated Christian names, a lesbian couple. They also each have a teenage child produced with the aid of the same anonymous sperm donor. The test tube version one assumes. In many ways it’s an ordinary family with the kids constantly embarrassed and annoyed by their parents.



The eldest, Joni (Mia Wasikowska), named after Joni Mitchell, is now eighteen and legally able to track down her biological father without her Mother’s permission. She isn’t that bothered but is convinced to do so by her younger brother (Josh Hutcherson). Though we don’t get given any background to why the kids feel differently about it and why her brother is so keen. The man they trace is an easygoing restaurateur and organic farmer called Paul (Mark Ruffalo).

The brother by the way is a fifteen year old called Laser... 'Cool name' says his new found Dad. Errr no. Well maybe for a dog. Then again, no not even for a dog.



Paul begins to regularly meet with the kids and is taken by surprise by the fact he starts to feel very paternal towards them. He seems to have a positive influence on them and it starts to change him a bit as a person.

As for the mums. Jules is intrigued by this man who is undeniably part of her kids make up, yet also a complete stranger and she agrees to design and construct a garden for him. While control freak Nic is suspicious and jealous of someone she sees as an interloper in their cosy family set up.

There is a side plot about Joni trying to discover herself sexually and about Laser, well there’s not much about Laser actually, other than him stopping a friend of his inexplicably peeing on a dog...

Nic and Jules’s relationship has obviously gone a bit stale and one night we get a comedic, well cringe inducing, scene where they attempt to spice things up by watching male gay porn complete with leather clad hunks. An odd choice, that they then have to attempt to explain, unconvincingly, to Joni when she overhears them.

The result is more old spice that hot ‘n’ spicy, so it's no wonder that Jules decides to get her next sperm donation the old fashioned way and throws herself into Paul's leather clad arms the next chance she gets. A turn of events that will no doubt annoy lesbians in their droves. Who knows if a girl can be turned that quickly and that easily but it’s a male fantasy that Paul can now cross off his things to do before I die list.



Consequently Jules spends more time getting athletic in Paul’s bedroom than digging his garden. Cue several gratuitous graphic love scenes, although we’d already had one earlier with Paul and his attractive female assistant. Jules will be pleased to know that he seemed to repeat the exact same repertoire in the exact same order with her.

One of the strongest moments of the film is when Nic has a scene with Paul at the dinner table, watched by the whole family, where she finally seems to come around to Paul's easy going charm, almost to the point of seduction. Jules looks mightily jealous and concerned. Then Nic discovers her partner’s hair in Paul’s bathroom and subsequently, when she snoops, in his bed... Hang on. A question if I may? Would you recognise your partner’s hair in the plug hole? I wouldn't. Long brown hair is long brown hair. You would have to be a mega suspicious person to jump to the same conclusion that Nic did and if your partner wasn’t even supposed to be into that gender, totally paranoid too.

This unsatisfactory discovery of their affair leads us to a very unsatisfactory ending. Well actually it’s a complete cop out. The film had created some interesting situations that were well worth exploring but then it all ended in such an illogical way.



Jules grovels to the rest of the family, apologizes for her actions and assures Nic that she’s still an All American lesbian despite showing more than a few traits of being a rampant bisexual. So Jules rejects Paul, despite the fact he confesses he’s fallen in love with her. As do the kids, the kids that Paul has now realised mean everything to him. Enabling Nic to triumphantly tell Paul to go and find his own family, when he comes to their house to make his own apology.

So in the end the film never goes anywhere and everyone appears to end up back where they started, resuming their previous lives as if nothing has happened. Which is something I really hate to see in films.

It also caught me off guard. I’d thought all the way through I was supposed to be rooting for Paul, who after all didn’t ask for any of this and it was the kids who initiated the contact with him, but all along it was a film about two lesbians staying together in the face of adversity.

It’s an entertaining film but one that fails, frustratingly, to fulfil its potential.

I imagine in the end both kids went on to maintain contact with Paul, Joni did takes his hat that he gave her to college with her, meanwhile Jules presumably left Nic, anything else just wouldn't be realistic.